Attachment
I’ve been thoroughly enjoying Irwin Mortman’s OLLI class, “Who Wrote the Torah”. Irwin took a class with me last year, and the other day he shared with some of his friends an aphorism that remembered from that class: “The worst attachment is to have an attachment.” Several of the people with whom he shared that took issue with it, as they understood it. One wrote: “I suppose that this applies to people too? How can one not have an attachment to a mate of so many years, or a friend, or a parent? How does Blumberg deal with this issue? Is it truly like the rest? Is there some different way to relate that I’m missing?”
It’s a particularly interesting question, and the notion of an “attachment” is an important concept in Buddhist thought, so I decided to take the opportunity to address it at moderate length in this blog post rather than just respond to Irwin’s email.
Obviously, the first thing to address is Irwin’s statement about what he learned. I’ve talked a number of times with Irwin about the various kinds of things we discussed in the class he took (I think it was the class on “Topics in Mainstream Buddhism”). And I know that he not only got a lot from the class, but that he asked (and continues to ask) some of the most thoughtful and challenging questions that I’ve gotten from anyone to whom I’ve talked about Buddhism. So I don’t want to take anything away from Irwin when I say, quoting that great Buddhist philosopher, Fibber McGee’s Old-Timer, “‘Tain’t the way I heered it, Junior.” That is, I don’t remember saying what Irwin attributed to me, in just those words.
What I did say, probably, is that the Buddha taught that the most difficult attachment to abandon is the attachment to “views”—i.e. opinions, beliefs, mindsets, prejudices, assumptions, habits of thought.
But that just pushes the discussion back a bit; it doesn’t address the very real question that Irwin’s friend raised; how can one’s love for a partner of many years, or for a brand-new grandchild, for that matter, be something that must be abandoned? What can be wrong with that kind of love?
And the answer, of course, is that there’s nothing wrong at all. Abandoning attachments has nothing to do with right and wrong (which is not, of course, to say that the Buddha was not concerned with moral issues; in fact, ethical action lies very close to the heart of his thought.) To see why it’s important to abandon attachments, and what happens when we’re able to do that, we have to look at what the term means.
The English word “attachment” or “clinging” almost always translates the Pali term upādāna, the literal meaning of which is “fuel”; it’s sometimes translated to mean “nutriment”. Its use by the Buddha, and the sense he gave to it, derives from the common understanding of fire as something that is nourished by the fuel to which it clings. When the fuel is exhausted, the fire goes out. (In the Aggi-Vacchagotta Sutta, the Buddha used the process as a graphic simile for the process of attaining nibbana [Sanskrit nirvana]. That sutta, by the way, will be the subject of our class in The Teachings of the Buddha this coming Friday at 2:00PM, at Raymond Walters; if anyone who’s not in the class is interested, please feel free to sit in.)
In the context of the Buddha’s teachings, as those are transmitted in the Pali Canon, when our craving for something leads to clinging, what we are in fact clinging to is not what we imagine it to be—the perfectly adorable grandchild, the perfectly loving wife, the perfectly evil enemy (we don’t only cling to things we want; we also cling to things we want to be rid of); those are, in fact, creations of our imagination, and what we are clinging to, in every case, is not something with an independent reality outside of ourselves, but to our notion of our Self and what we think we need to complete that. When I cling to the Terrorist Menace, or to the Faithful Wife, or to the Perfect Granddaughter, it always turns out that I cling to an illusion of my own making, and that I cling to it because my sense of Self is bound up in its being as I imagine it.
Now, I can be dismayed by acts of terrorism and call them out, and even, I think, point out that clerics who interpret their scriptures in certain ways are encouraging terrorism; I can love and admire and enjoy the continued company of the woman I’ve come to know, comfortably and gladly, over the past fifty years; I can take great joy in the baby’s gurglings, first smiles, first lurching steps. But when I allow my dismay, or my love, or my admiration, to become clinging, I commit an injustice: I objectify what I cling to and limit that person’s freedom to be the best that he or she can be. And I surrender to delusion—the delusion of an essential and unchanging self that’s defined, in some unpleasant way, by the stuff it’s attached to.
Most important, I let myself in for unnecessary suffering. On the one hand, pain is unavoidable: I or a friend may be hurt in a terrorist attack; my grandchild may fall and break an arm; my wife may come down with a serious disease; all of those things will cause me pain and sorrow. But if I continue to cling to the illusion, I can do nothing to help; only wail in pain. I cannot bring myself to act skillfully in response to the world as it has changed, to pitch in and help the victims, to bring food to one who is no longer able to get her own; to encourage someone to do the exercises that will restore his strength, to be mindfully present to those in need, to demonstrate compassion, to preserve equanimity in a world which does not deal happiness in equal measure.
Gotama Siddhatha’s wife, shortly before he left home to begin the quest for enlightenment that would result in his becoming the Buddha, bore him a child, a son, whom Gotama loved dearly. He named the boy Rahula, which means “fetter”, not because he wished to be rid of the child or because he wished to be rid of his love for the child, but as a reminder that those things we love most deeply are the things that we are most likely to attach to. And that attachment, in addition to hindering our own chances for reducing our suffering in the world and perhaps even attaining enlightment, diminish the love we have for that other one by binding him to us and to our idea of what he must be and what he must become.
Hope this helps.
